Theme
Holidays
North
Dordogne
Mayac
Dordogne.
Périgueux
20
mins.
Jumilhac
le
Grand
/
Périgord
Vert
Saint
Yrieix
7
km
For
cat
lovers
and
haters
everywhere...
Well
I
had
to
fill
the
space
until
we
receive
more
adverts,
and
I
found
this
hilarious..
1.
Pick
up
cat
and
cradle
it
in
the
crook
of
your
left
arm
as
if
holding
a
baby.
Position
right
forefinger
and
thumb
on
either
side
of
cat's
mouth
and
gently
apply
pressure
to
cheeks
while
holding
pill
in
right
hand.
As
cat
opens
mouth,
pop
pill
into
mouth.
Allow
cat
to
close
mouth
and
swallow.
2.
Retrieve
pill
from
floor
and
cat
from
behind
sofa.
Cradle
cat
in
left
arm
and
repeat
process.
3.
Retrieve
cat
from
bedroom,
and
throw
soggy
pill
away.
4.
Take
new
pill
from
foil
wrap,
cradle
cat
in
left
arm,
holding
rear
paws
tightly
with
left
hand.
Force
jaws
open
and
push
pill
to
back
of
mouth
with
right
forefinger.
Hold
mouth
shut
for
a
count
of
ten.
5.
Retrieve
pill
from
goldfish
bowl
and
cat
from
top
of
wardrobe.
Call
spouse
from
garden.
6
.
Kneel
on
floor
with
cat
wedged
firmly
between
knees,
hold
front
and
rear
paws.
Ignore
low
growls
emitted
by
cat.
Get
spouse
to
hold
head
firmly
with
one
hand
while
forcing
wooden
ruler
into
mouth
Drop
pill
down
ruler
and
rub
cat's
throat
vigorously.
7.
Retrieve
cat
from
curtain
rail,
get
another
pill
from
foil
wrap.
Make
note
to
buy
new
ruler
and
repair
curtains.
Carefully
sweep
shattered
figurines
and
vases
from
hearth
and
set
to
one
side
for
gluing
later.
8.
Wrap
cat
in
large
towel
and
get
spouse
to
lie
on
cat
with
head
just
visible
from
below
armpit.
Put
pill
in
end
of
drinking
straw,
force
mouth
open
with
pencil
and
blow
down
drinking
straw.
9.
Check
label
to
make
sure
pill
not
harmful
to
humans,
drink
the
beer
to
take
taste
away.
Apply
Band-Aid
to
spouse's
forearm
and
remove
blood
from
carpet
with
cold
water
and
soap.
10.
Retrieve
cat
from
neighbour's
shed.
Get
another
pill.
Open
another
beer.
Place
cat
in
cupboard,
and
close
door
on
to
neck,
to
leave
head
showing.
Force
mouth
open
with
dessert
spoon.
Flick
pill
down
throat
with
elastic
band.
11.
Fetch
screwdriver
from
garage
and
put
cupboard
door
back
on
hinges.
Drink
beer.
Fetch
bottle
of
scotch.
Pour
shot,
drink.
Apply
cold
compress
to
cheek
and
check
records
for
date
of
last
tetanus
shot.
Apply
whiskey
compress
to
cheek
to
disinfect.
Toss
back
another
shot.
Throw
tee
shirt
away
and
fetch
new
one
from
bedroom.
12.
Call
fire
department
to
retrieve
the
******
cat
from
across
the
road
and
up
a
tree.
Apologize
to
neighbour
who
crashed
into
fence
while
swerving
to
avoid
cat.
Take
last
pill
from
foil
wrap.
13.
Tie
the
little
b*****d's
front
paws
to
rear
paws
with
garden
twine
and
bind
tightly
to
leg
of
dining
table,
find
heavy-duty
pruning
gloves
from
shed.
Push
pill
into
mouth
followed
by
large
piece
of
fillet
steak.
Be
rough
about
it.
Hold
head
vertically
and
pour
2
pints
of
water
down
throat
to
wash
pill
down.
14.
Consume
remainder
of
scotch.
Get
spouse
to
drive
you
to
the
emergency
room,
sit
quietly
while
doctor
stitches
fingers
and
forearm
and
removes
pill
remnants
from
right
eye.
Call
furniture
shop
on
way
home
to
order
new
table.
15.
Arrange
for
SPCA
to
collect
mutant
cat
from
hell
and
call
local
pet
shop
to
see
if
they
have
any
hamsters.
How
To
Give
A
Dog
A
Pill
1.
Wrap
it
in
bacon.
|
All
adverts
are
from
private
owners
of
Dordogne
Bed
&
Breakfast
homes. The
information
supplied
here
is
provided
by
the
owners
of
the
homes
they
have
not
been
inspected
by
us
and
inclusion
here
is
not
to
be
taken
as
a
recommendation. |